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25 May 2009 @ 03:42 pm
Right. I have no clever "Friends Only" picture all made up, but that's what this post is about. I'm making my journal friends only now, so if you want to be added, comment. I gurantee I'll pretty much friend anyone as I love meeting new people. But...yes.
07 May 2009 @ 04:19 pm
I just finished my last final yesterday. I fear I'm already becoming bored, so I'm immersing myself in "Castle" and all things Stana to stay occupied. OH! I just got a fic idea...
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: Love Game: Lady Gaga
16 March 2009 @ 09:24 am
It's a funny thing.
The past 3 days I've spent doing what I've always said I wanted to do - write and record music.
These days have been the most satisfying and productive days I've ever had.
I have this feeling in my gut that makes me think this is what I was born to do...
Current Music: Rhonda Vincent : I've Forgotten You
31 January 2009 @ 03:30 pm
This has just been a VERY strange week.
1. Birthday.
2. Stomach Flu
3. VERY busy week at school.
4. Not only do I have the stomach flu, but I have also managed to catch a cold. A bad one.
5. I just found out about 20 minutes ago that my Grandmother just died.

I really don't know how to feel. My aunt called for my dad, but my dad's out hunting Gobblers. My mom, apparently, called her and found out. I really don't know what's going to happen this coming week, but both of my aunts are really upset. My one aunt was so upset she couldn't even talk to my dad on the phone. I really don't know how to feel. Obviously I'm really sad, but I don't feel a sense of deep loss since I wasn't that close with her. I'm more worried about my dad. This was the second time this week I've seen my mom cry. I don't like it, and I have a feeling that my moms not the only person I'll see crying this week...
Current Mood: indescribableindescribable
26 January 2009 @ 12:23 am
So, it's my 21st birthday as of now. How do I feel? 
15 January 2009 @ 09:35 pm

That is all...

Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: Alison Krauss
11 January 2009 @ 05:40 am
Life Goals as of 2008:
1. Live in Europe for a time
2. Learn every word of "Rappers Delight" just in case I'm ever in the same room as Sandra Bullock and she wants to sing it.
3. Meet Alison Krauss/Dixie Chicks
4. Go to the Louvre and Moulin Rouge.
5. Graduate college with my degree and get a good job.
6. Go on tour (It doesn't really matter what I'd do, but I'd LOVE to play guitar in the band).
7. Be an extra in a movie.
8. Write a book.
9. Write a script.
10. Live as a gypsy for a year.

Obviously, without saying, things will change. Everything changes. I'm working on finally learning to accept change. Once you learn to embrace it, your life changes. You look at life differently and learn to love what you have while you have it.
Tomorrow starts a new semester. After this there is only one year left. It's starting to freak me out quite a bit. No school? Being forced to go out into the real world and find a job that hopefully you'll like and be somewhat satisfied with. Coming from a family with money, I feel the extreme pressure to find a well paying job. Why?
I just had to stop and examine that. In the coming year I want to attempt to change. I want to do the things that I want to do. I don't want to have to think "What will so-and-so think of this?" . I want to do the things that I want to because, ultimately, if you do the things other people expect of you, you're not really yourself.
I really don't think I've come into myself. You hear from everybody that they peak in high school or college. I haven't found my time yet and I'm just wondering when it'll be. Will it ever come? Will I have to succumb to the best of my least appealing times as my peak? 
I just...it may be hard to think this, but I'm not a big fan of myself. I want to change. I don't like who I am. I want to the the fun, bubbly, happy go lucky girl that isn't too old for her age and worries non-stop. I feel this year may change me extremely. If not this year, next year undoubtedly.

Atlanta this past week was amazing. The kids are as adorable as ever (Except Emma being in her 'lets-punch-everything-that-moves stage"). I had a horrible case of Altitude sickness the first two days, but I still really enjoyed myself. Seeing my family in their environment, in the clothes they want to wear, in their everyday life at the grocery store and basketball games, is really something special. While at that basketball game, I had an overwhelming sense of the need to nurture. Emma, the cutest little kid told me something. Her mom kept encouraging her to go and play with a friend that was there. Avery I think her name was. Every time she said "no".
Obviously, as one of those people who hates seeing people they know during outings, I totally understood. Her mom wouldn't let it go. She invited the little girl up to our area of the bleachers anyway. You know that when a 5 year old doesn't want to play with her friend, something is wrong. As soon as the little girl came up, Emma climbed between my legs and sat on the ground and cuddled up. After about 10 minutes, she looks up at me clutching her stuffed animal.
"Avery's not my friend anymore."
Stunned I look down.
"Huh? How come?"
"All of my friend take Clare."
I sit trying to understand what she's saying.
"What do you mean take?"
"Whenever they meet Clare, they don't want to be my friend anymore. I don't have any friends."
I just sat there stunned. Then I scooped her up and gave her a big hug. She sat on my lap the rest of the game. What hurt the most was when the little girl asked if Clare and the 3 year old sister could come over for a play date RIGHT in front of Emma.
Other than that we had fun jamming out to "Camp Rock" and "High School Musical 3" in the car. Obviously, my first time hearing it I was dancing around all crazy making them laugh. Then we got in trouble. They have a habit of screaming...and in the car, screaming is not so good...especially with their father.
Being down south for those days I finally felt like I belonged somewhere. My presence was noticed and I was in such demand. It's nice to feel like that every now and then. The feeling of being truly needed. I also found out that my cousin Clare is going to be performing at Carnegie hall. Talk about how amazing that is. I totally want to fly out to watch her.
I fell in love with Atlanta and Nashville. I can see myself living down there at some point in my life and I can't wait to go back. This summer for sure for Keithy boy!

Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
Current Music: Bob Schneider - Come With Me Tonight
17 December 2008 @ 11:40 am
It's a funny thing.

I've never thought of myself as a very religious person. Especially when compared to some of my family and friends who go to church at least 4 times a week. I was at church this past Sunday, and this strange feeling came over me. I don't know how to explain this feeling, but all I know is that I felt...almost lighter. Nothing significant happened during this time. I didn't have any life-long revelations, no religious realizations-nothing. But that feeling of 'lightness'-as if a giant weight was lifted off of my shoulders-was something I never felt before. I like it.
I think I'll be going to church more often.

I had lunch this past Monday with Mrs. Murphy. It was the most fun I've had in a long time. She truly is a special person. I visited her, Mrs. Henry and Mrs. Link twice since I've been off for break, and they've already asked me to come back the week of Jan 5. I love going to visit. My mom always asks me if it's weird visiting old teachers. I would probably think it'd be awkward if I were in the same position. But no. Its FAR from awkward.

Christmas is coming up. It proves to be hectic. But, we've started everything early. The decorations are already up-besides Grandmas...we're going to do hers this Friday night. My Aunt and Uncle are coming up Friday to spend the night with my Grandma, and they asked us to come over for dinner with them. I'm excited. I may be a glutton for punishment, but I love seeing my family...especially these two. After that, Saturday morning my dad and I are going up north to celebrate Christmas with his side of the family. I think we'll be coming home Monday night or Tuesday...depending on when my dad wants to come home. He always seems to want to stay longer. After this, we have Christmas Eve with my Grandma, my mom's sister and her family. We always go to church, have dinner (most likely Chinese) and open our presents. Then I'll finally get my new iPod! I can't WAIT to get that sucker booted up! After that, we head to Ohio on Christmas day. See everybody on my mom's side of the family, which totals well over 35. I might possibly be spending the night so I can stay and hang out with my cousins that I never get to see. After this, I have a few days to recoup, then LACEY is coming. I'm so excited. We're going to to do so many fun things and take tons of pictures...and just have so much fun. Then after that, visiting back at child care and possibly Atlanta? I hope so.

I wish everybody a happy and safe holiday season! Enjoy the time to relax!
Current Music: Alison Krauss: What'll I Do?
03 November 2008 @ 05:50 pm
Ok. Two things I'm going to touch on in this post: "Gone Baby, Gone" and "The Office"

First. "Gone Baby, Gone". Let me just tell you how amazing this movie is. It's seriously so thought-provoking it had me thinking about it almost an hour after the movie ended. It really tests your morality. It's crazy. It's good. WATCH IT.

Second. "The Office". Ok, I have to admit I wasn't as into the Office as I was before. I re-watched the season 3 finale a while ago and my love of the show rekindled. Why? Holly and Michael. When she talked back to him in that Yoda voice, that was just it. And why am I writing this post? Why? I'll tell you why. How PISSED I am that they only signed the girl that plays Holly for SIX EPISODES. SHE'S ALREADY DONE!? I didn't find this out until AFTER her last air date. *Cries* They BETTER bring her back or I fear I'll start to lose the level of interest I possess now. Which includes making photoshop art and fanfics.  Oh, I also heard they're doing another Convention. HOLLA!

Oh. And Holly thinking Kevin was a retard for a few episodes...I seriously love whoever came up with that storyline. "You drive your own car? I'm so proud of you!"

Angela: You're an idiot!
Kevin: Wait...you think I'm retarded?

Current Music: Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say) : Lady GaGa
29 September 2008 @ 03:12 am
I picked up a copy of the new InStyle magazine this weekend at Borders. After flipping through the 400+ pages of clothing/accessory ads, I stumbled upon a quotation in an article.

"My time as a scarlet woman was really interesting," she explains. "As painful as it was, it was also incredibly liberating. Now I was utterly free. I didn't have to care about what people thought. I have gotten to do what I guess I secretly wanted to do."

This struck me. I'm wondering when my day will come...
Current Mood: pensivepensive
Current Music: F-Stop Blues Jack Johnson